The way they manifest themselves in our lives may not make them our closest friendships in an ongoing sense, but there is a sense of deep comfort in the relationship, a sense of safety. These friends have known us, and stuck with us, since we were young enough to argue with them over a broken toy. They’ve seen the worst of us, and assuredly the best too, as they’ve just – well – always been there. And so it is that, in spending time with our oldest friends, we find ourselves having some of our most treasured moment, of sharing something very special. We likely have shared origin stories: formative experiences and common ingredients of our lives that are a huge part of who we have become.  

Last night, I was lucky enough to enjoy a remarkable experience that was borne of one such friendship; a friendship that technically began in 1444. The last time I was in Eton’s chapel was when, as a Q, I was singing in the same service. For a Pilgrims’ Head, it didn’t get much better. 

Each year the Amicabilis Concordia (the ‘friendly agreement’ or ‘understanding’) is marked by the college chapel choirs of Eton and Winchester. As I regularly stress to prospective parents over a cup of tea in my study, singing is not for the few at Pilgrims’. By the time they leave Pilgrims’, most boys will at least be comfortable raising their voice with others, and many will have developed a love for it and no inconsiderable skill in it. The sound last night as this massed choir came together as one was something remarkable. From John Tavener’s ‘Hymn to the Mother of God’ to Balfour Gardiner’s Evening Hymn, ‘Te Lucis Ante Terminum’ (what the boys refer to as ‘a real banger’!), one would be hard-pushed to find 4-part choral singing from 9-18 year olds that was better anywhere in the country.  

And here’s the rub. 

Looking out across that choir, Mr Leslie and I thought we counted 24 Pilgrims and Old Pilgrims. In addition to the current Quiristers there were also ex-Choristers and ex-Chamber Choir members, spread from the top line to the lower lines. As Head, it was a ‘proud dad moment’ par excellence! Afterwards, all four Old Pilgrims from last year’s Year 8, independently came to shake hands and say hello: the icing on the cake. Like the concord between Eton and Winchester, I hope that Old Pilgrims – as for these boys – always feel a sense of being old friends with the school, and of something very special. 

Post Script: 
The fact that the Amicabilis Concordia service followed on the same day as our school Harvest Festival service in the cathedral was a double treat. Here, the Chamber Choir and readers did a wonderful job as we gathered with a sense of gratitude. And it was such a pleasure to have parents and school governors joining us. As one governor remarked afterwards, for those of us that have grown perhaps too used to it, we should never become blind to what a remarkable part of the life of our boys it is to be able to have such services in the cathedral. The awe of being in such a building should never be lost on us. It too is an old friend with whom many Old Pilgrims’ feel something very special.  

Tim Butcher
Headmaster