Summer Term, Episode 3
It’s ok to disagree
In my assembly this week, I took some time to make this point to the boys and I asked them to strive to get better at healthy disagreement. In this time of ‘cancel culture’ and some people apparently wanting to be offended by anything and everything, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that it is good to have differing backgrounds and points of view. It is healthy, it is productive, and it is a natural and necessary part of life. If everyone agreed all the time, that would be boring. But more importantly, disagreement helps us to understand each other better, respect each other more, and often leads to improvement. A good community is made stronger by a healthy amount of disagreement.
Some may know that my degree was in politics, and that I love to debate. Some of you may know that Mr du Plessis also loves politics. In fact, we love it so much that at General Election time we have a tradition of staying up all night together to see the results come in (I believe we’ve done three now?). However, Mr du Plessis and I do not always agree. When we discuss politics, we often find ourselves on different sides of the debate, but I love discussing things with him. He sees things differently and discussing, and disagreeing, helps me to consider my position:
- Sometimes it convinces me of my position
- Sometimes if forces me to review my position and alter it
- Sometimes it has made me abandon my position completely and move to his side
I would like to think that after our debates he reflects too and that my words might have some effect on him. However, and much more importantly, I always come out of our discussions feeling invigorated. I feel more respect for him, and simply more closely bonded. This is the power of disagreement.
This works on a community level also. A good school helps its pupils to learn to disagree, whether that is about what game to play, what your favourite hymn is, or the best lunch. The key is that we learn to disagree in a respectful and constructive way. It helps us view the world around us through other's eyes, and to see our place in it differently.
The ability to disagree, and still be friends, is one of the most valuable skills we can learn when we live together. It makes us stronger and brings us closer, and that is ok by me.
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PS - We have had some excellent news this week for our Year 8 scholarship boys, but not all the results are in yet, so I will write more about this in next week's newsletter.
